Saturday, June 10, 2006

IKEA assembly and other home shopping erotica

Anyone else ever notice the conversational similiarities between assembling furniture and engaging in aerobically inadvisable bedroom activities?

This should just take a minute.
(two hours later) Are you finished yet?

Do you want me to hold it while you screw?

This one just slides in sideways.

Where's the hole?
Just a little to the right; no, go back a bit.
Found it!

Do you need help with that?
No, this is a job for one.

Just stick it in there.

Ohmigod, it fits!

This looks so much easier in the picture.

This instruction manual is completely worthless.

I'm the one with the screwdriver.
Believe me, I'm quite happy that only one of us has a screwdriver.

This is like naked twister except with clothes on and with more hardware.

So lay this one flat on its back.
It's not the chair that's supposed to be flat on its back.

Will you please stop fondling that espresso machine?
As soon as you stop undressing the power tools with your eyes.


Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

first time visitor. cool angle for a blog. you never hear "measure twice, cut once" though in the bedroom. if you do the kommissarie has a crime to solve. lol

2:15 PM  
Blogger kT said...

And the nearest IKEA is an 8+ hour drive.....

8:36 PM  
Blogger Victor Tabbycat said...

How about, "I thought you said you'd done this before?"

1:12 AM  

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