Friday, June 23, 2006

How to Tell When It's Midsummer in Stockholm

10. The streets are empty. The only people you see are frantically packing their Volvos with crates of strawberries and new potatos and gallons of alcohol.
9. ICA has been sold out of sill for weeks.
8. The whole country is attired in shorts and tank tops, still in denial that Mother Nature won't deliver the sun they've been praying for since December. (Although Swedes aren't religious and most don't pray, they will make an exception and appeal to a higher power to request good weather).
7. Although not an official holiday, every store and business in the entire country is closed for the de facto National Drinking Day.
6. The ONLY business on the entire street that is open is a nail salon run by two lovely girls from Turkey. They've spent the day doing each other's nails, for the fifth time.
5. The waiter looks at you with a stare of incomprehension, as if he didn't understand the question, when you ask if they would be open on Midsommarsafton. OF COURSE no one would be working on a holiday that isn't even official!
4. It's the only day of the year that you don't have to book a date with the tvättstuga six months ahead of time. You can just walk downstairs and start your laundry.
3. Small children (and drunk adults) can be seen hopping around, pretending to be frogs.
2. A giant herring has been spotted swimming for its life, as desperate Swedes seek any way to alieviate their craving for pickled fish, which ran out weeks ago (see number 9).
1. No one is going to read this post until Monday because everyone is hiding in their summer cabins, munching on pickled fish and strawberries (hopefully not at the same time) and holding their thumbs, waiting for the rain to stop.

10 Comments:

Blogger SkäggMike said...

Sorry to spoil your #1. ;)

8:58 PM  
Blogger hanna said...

Fantastiskt! It almost feels like I'm back home in Stockholm celebrating midsummer just by reading this!

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Lore said...

Ugh. Hangover from hell, still the post cracks me up. All swedes go nuts during midsummer, and nobody even notices anymore. Good work, Kommisarien.

4:08 PM  
Blogger sparris said...

Actually I was thinkin to myself earlier today that it really should be renamd National Binge Dinking Holiday. I love Midsummer but I hate how people behave.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Ms.Take said...

Midsummers for National Day, NOW!
(why on EARTH *create* a holiday only weeks before the de facto Swedish National day, which nobody celebrates anyway?)

10:13 PM  
Blogger InMyHumbleOpinion said...

Summer in Sweden sounds weird, all one day of it!
Love reading your blog. Hope you enjoyed your visit to the US South.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous sofia said...

haha, fantastic! And it's all true of course.

12:44 AM  
Blogger Philip said...

Hey I'm from the states and wanted some more concrete info on what goes down during Midsummers. Where Is a good place to go to see it? Is there a climax to the events? just wanted to know more. Thanks. You cna email me at philipopere@hotmail.com

1:19 AM  
Anonymous dima said...

Well, to defense of my country It always rain on Midsummer's eve, it's like a curse or something... But the rest of the summer is usually hot and sunny, at least where I live. And NO, it isn't only two months long... It lasts from middle of or late May to late August.

Ps. you had some good points there...

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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9:55 AM  

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