Friday, December 16, 2005

The Law of Unintended Consequences

The Law of Unintended Consequences states that each cause has more than one effect. That means that all of the implications of human actions are definitely not planned, and are many times completely unexpected. So the things that we do (or write) can have other (and often surprising) results than we had originally anticipated.

This post has been written and rewritten several times already, in my head. I wasn't really sure exactly what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. This blog has taken a rather unexpected turn in the last few weeks. It is perhaps more correct to say that my life has taken a bit of a detour because of this blog.

A few weeks ago "Kommissarie Curiosa" was hijacked by a character named Fraytonto. We'll call him Tonto for short. You know, like the Lone Ranger's Indian sidekick. A little google research revealed that "Tonto" means "fool" in Spanish. Why the Lone Ranger's Native American associate had a Spanish name is another question.

Tonto lured me into a very lengthy debate in the middle of the night via a few not-so-nice comments questioning my intelligence and accusing me of being a "bimbo." Some of you regular readers might recall how miffed I was at such name-calling. I'm generally pretty laid back and it takes a lot to piss me off, but this tactic certainly succeeded. He baited me, and I bit. In fact, I think I'll re-post his first comment here, and let his words speak for themselves:

Couldn't pinpoint it but this is what's wrong with this bimbo blog. A trite, incredibly mundane though seemingly clever sex-in-the-city-wanna-be series of posts ... This just came to your town courtesy of (where else) the good old US of A. It is not enough to be disgraced by your inept leaders. You have to do it for yourself in this cutesy 'look at me I'm so clever I diss guys... TOOO COOOL cool for you' stint. God bless America.

Well, um, yes. A little bit below the belt, but an effective way to get my attention.

This sparring continued for a few days through comments in the blog. I must say that my moment of glory occurred at 2:49 am when I saw that he had returned once again to check the blog after he claimed he was going to go to bed. At 2:41 am I had written "I bet you just can't resist," and sure enough he popped up again at 02:49:25 and again at 02:49:35 on an ISP address registered in Lund. Gotcha, Tonto.

After a few days of this, we took it to MSN messenger. After about 24 hours of insulting each other, we finally started to "get real." Without hurling intellectual grenades back and forth at each other, or otherwise devising methods to mentally squash our worthy opponents.

I also had to break rule number one of anonymous blogging: anonymity. Turns out, that may not have been such a bad move. We seemed to have a lot in common, and both felt that it isn't often that you come across someone with whom you really "click."

But when it comes right down to it, what really matters is how you interact with another person in real life. In the name of spontaneity and romance, I hopped on a plane to Lund a week-and-a-half later, seriously questioning my sanity the whole way there. I had a back-up plan to stay with some of my ex-pat friends in Malmö should Tonto turn out to be four feet tall and smelly, but I felt that the whole situation was so unusual and strange that I had to take a chance.

Turns out, we actually kind of get along in real life, although the social democrat vs. libertarian discussion remains (and likely will remain that way) unresolved. It one of those things where you have to quite frankly "see what happens." ("It" in this case refers to the whole situation, not to political-ideological differences.)

So this means that my "under-the-covers investigation" has taken quite a dramatic turn. When I started this blog last month, it really was a way to blow off some steam about dating in a foreign country and it's associated frustrations. But in the course of sussing out the "strong, silent, Nordic type," I managed to find, quite unintentionally, a tall, dark, and definitely not silent Southern type.

By the way, the moral of this story is NOT that calling a girl a bimbo is a good way to pick her up. Under normal circumstances, it will just get you slapped. I guess it's actually that age-old adage: you'll find it when and where you least expect it.


Blogger eff said...

Wow, that's very very very weird. See, I had this feeling when you headed south that something was up between you and this Tonto character (I remembered he studied in Lund from the "comment ping-pong" you played back then). I just pushed it aside as one of those "nah, I'm just a weird bastard with too much time" things. So I'm flabbergasted now that it turns out I was actually right.

Perhaps I should schedule in more time for conspiracy theories, as it may be something I'm good at?

I think I'd better lie down now.

8:50 PM  
Blogger eff said...

Also, I'm happy for you. Naturally. That goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Niclas Bengtsson said...

Så den där taktiken funkar fortfarande. Man borde kanske prova den igen.

Väldigt roligt att läsa din blogg iaf.

9:01 PM  
Blogger oscar said...

Och ändå envisas du med att gnälla om att du kallades för bimbo den där gången och att ingen kallade mig det....tss tss...

Men jag är glad för din skull.

word verification: kriibs (Finnish version of MTV-cribs?)

12:25 AM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

is eff the only one who was suspicious?

12:40 AM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

oscar, i'm still holding a grudge about being called a bimbo, and i have exclusively reserved the right to "play the bimbo card" at any point i feel necessarily. it's like a trump card of sorts. "well, you, you, YOU CALLED ME A BIMBO!!" yes, sometimes i have a hard time letting things go.

12:42 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

I wish someone unexpected could jump into my life right now..


6:26 AM  
Anonymous dr helmer said...

Lisa, du är en bimbo!

1:21 PM  
Blogger The Pale Green Woman said...

Wow! Vilken grej!!

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

sweet! det har hant mig med :) sprider sig snabbt det har...har dr helmer nagon msn jag kan na dig pa? ;)

8:55 PM  
Blogger Niclas Bengtsson said...

Ni bör nog ta en titt på det här innan ni nätdejtar ;)

10:10 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

the funny thing is that this wasn't even an attempt at "netdating." the blog just happened to be the medium.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Niclas Bengtsson said...

Det man letar efter dyker oftast upp där man minst anar det.

Frågan är dock vad är det egentligen man letar efter och hur vet man när man hittat det.

Och varför sitter jag här en lördagkväll med datorn i mitt knä och tittar på dansktextad film medans jag planlöst surfar runt på bloggar.

10:47 PM  
Blogger hanna said...

Damn! You go girl! I'm very happy for you, hope it works out! Waiting for the report...

I'm still waiting for my tonto to show himself. Please oh please let him look like Jake Gyllenhaal! Or Adrian Brody, that'll do too thank you very much.

11:44 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...


thanks! seems like i'm not the only one who met someone via their own blog. Petite Anglaise reports meeting her lover in her own comment box. Just hope that your tonto doesn't begin the relationship by calling you a bimbo. It's a bit nicer if you can start off on good terms BEFORE you start the name-calling.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! As a Southamerican dating a Swede, I´m been very interested in the "research" & discussion, but I´ve been having trouble translating the most recent messages (word by word translation isn´t very practical!)Thank you for the English ; )

9:38 PM  
Anonymous Arne Anka said...


11:56 PM  

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