Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to

It's not easy being sexy and sassy all the time. In fact, at the moment, I feel rather slow and stupid. So welcome to the dark side. It's a very scary place indeed.

There's that stern voice in my head telling me, "Curiosa, you need to grow the fuck up. It's high time you took some responsibility for your own life." You know, the little angel on my shoulder. Unfortunately, it seems that these days, I've been listening to the its devilish counterpart a little bit too often. I keep telling myself, I'm not lazy, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Sort of like I also keep saying, I'm not messy, It's just an extension of my creativity. A fucking quarter-life crisis is what it's called.

If I had a magic latern, I would rub it and spend my first wish on becoming a bear so I could hibernate for the rest of the month. Although that would likely, in the long-run, compound my problems. Sticking one's head in the sand doesn't make problems go away, it just gives you a false sense of complacency. My new apartment, while fantastically located and reasonably priced, has resulted in double rent this month. I'm counting on finding some poor student lacking in accommedation to help pick up some of the financial slack come the 15th of the month, since I have to give two months notice before I am no longer legally responsible for this little shithole (it's not REALLY a shithole, it's just 16 sq m and badly in want of a thorough cleaning). So Mom (whom I love very, very much, and who DOESN'T, by the way, read this blog) had to wire me some emergency cash so I could pay rent to the Swedish-wild-child-party-girl-turned-kärleksinvandrare-till-Norrland who is on her way to Brazil for a few weeks of fun in the sun. (Did I mention I hate her right now? Ahhhh, the sweet, sweet feeling of jealousy...)

I wish someone would pay me to be a professional blogger. My current employment is over at the end of the year, and I have a job interview on Friday. If that doesn't work out, I may end up unemployed somewhere in the middle of the Continental United States within a few months, as I already owe my mother almost as much money as I do to Uncle Sam for four-years of student loans. Keep your fingers crossed, or "hold your thumbs," or whatever it is that you do in this country.

My only consolation is that the Swedish-wild-child-party-girl-turned-kärleksinvandrare-till-Norrland has elected me to be "katvakt," that is, cat sitter, during her stint in Brazil. So, Kitty and I can curl up on the couch and count coins together, stare at the wall, contemplate our navels, and if worse comes to worse, share that can of tuna.


Blogger Johan Sundström said...

Being the boyfriend of when life seems like that is one of the better sides to being-boyfriend-ness; you should consider borrowing one and feel really childishly spoiled for a while. It does lots of good to the little mushy person deep inside, that just wants to hibernate for some better weather and climate. (Of course it doesn't really help with growing up and facing the situation, but that bit you will eventually have to do yourself anyway, cat, boy or other bits of consolation aside.)

Stockholm weather plain sucks about now; I'm glad I left the town behind me this morning to return southward.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

hmmm, johan, i must say although i agree that i need to borrow a boyfriend for awhile, i guess you mean that one of the best things about being a boyfriend is being there for your girlfriend when her life sucks?

6:18 PM  
Blogger eff said...

Yeah, unfortunately life kinda sucks sometimes. We can't all go around and fart sunshine and be jolly every single day. I know how you feel. And it sucks.

I hope things work out for you. It seems to me as if Sweden would be better off with you here than anyplace else.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my tummar hållda for you. At the same time. (I tried and I can do both at the same time. Which I guess puts me in rabbit's foot territory when it comes to positive things. Or a horse shoe, if you're allergic to rabbits. Or something, I'm not perfectly clear on what point I'm trying to make.)

9:24 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Who doesn't feel like hibernating through Nov-Feb in Sweden?

9:30 AM  

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