Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Who, me?

I am good at dating. I should clarify; I am good at dating guys that I am only somewhat interested in. When I fall, I fall hard. And often flat on my face.

I actually liked Meat Man (recent self-delusions about the nature of his package aside) a lot. We dated off-and-on for about three months last spring. I actually still like him; I'm just not sure if I entirely trust him with that delicate thing known as my heart.

Part of the problem was Meat Man lives in the Swedish hinterlands. What the folks back home would call the middle of butt-fuck nowhere (MBFN). He moved there with the promise of an alluring career, and instead found nothing but moose and polar bears.

(Okay, I made the polar bear part up).

Most of his social life revolves around Stockholm. So every weekend, he commutes from the MBFN to the capital city.

I wanted more than an occasional weekend fling, and I suspect that he was only looking for a place to stay when he was in town. So, we dropped the charade and made the decision to be "just friends."

Now Meat Man is moving back to Stockholm this next weekend. He got a really good job offer, and was more than happy to get the hell out of the MBFN. Like clockwork, he called me in the middle of the night on Friday, drunk as a skunk.

I don't know what he expected. I shouldn't have even picked up the phone, but I did. I let him sleep here, but I wasn't about to go down that road again. Not until I'm sure I'm not going to get hurt again.

Apart from debating why or why not I wasn't going to take my pants off, we had a really good time. He made me laugh a lot back last spring, and he made me laugh a lot this weekend. (And not just at his "meat" references.)

Problem is, I'm not so sure I'm ready to let my guard down with this one again. I still haven't figured out the mysterious "WHAT DOES HE WANT?" Okay, so I know one thing he wanted (and didn't get) on Friday night, but I'm still not sure what else he wants.

So now its almost the weekend again. Do I sit back and see if he calls again? A philosophy I've heard, and hate, but definitely believe, is that the less that I (show that I) like him, the more he'll like me. Is he going to interpret my rejection of his "meat" as rejection of him?

Which it's not. I could see myself dating Meat Man again (he's really gonna have to work hard to get rid of that name). Thing is though, this time it's going to be on my terms.

It's all or nothing, baby.


Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Did he at least bring some newly-shot moose meat back to your house to show he means business?

7:10 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

Yes, but I told him that wasn't good enough. I need to see some Rudolf on a plate.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Please tell me that you are kidding (he said, knowing that she was not!)!? Why do women (I'm sure some men do too but I've had little experience dating men)allways ask that question..."what does he want?"? He calls u (and I'm asuming not only in the am!?) and wants to spend time with you and you have a good time, what could he possibly want??? Oh I don't know, here is a shot in the dark...he wants to spend a good time with you!!! It really isn't all that complicated...but I'll give you something a bit trickier to ponder on...ready? it seem too think that question is awfully important but; what's the answer you are looking for?

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Spelling-bee..."you seem TO think" (and yes, I love parentheses!)

12:01 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...


maybe i should clarify. we've talked on the phone several times since then, but haven't seen each other since july. that's why i have to wonder...


12:58 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Well that really didn't clearify at all, since you are still hung up on what HE wants and what HE means. What I was trying to convey was the fact that women tend to focus to much on what "he wants" instead of asking what do I want. What if Meat Man suddenly turned around and said: –I love you above all and I want us to settle down and have some kids. My guess is that since you've been so busy wondering what he wants you'll go along with it out of pure momentum. Then after a few years you'll start asking that all-important question "What do I want?". And by then you're in a house full of kids and it's, quite frankly, too late (Yes, I've heard of divorces, I just don't like them!). So, am I saying that you should plan ahead that far? No, I'm saying think about what you want today and let the rest take care of itself. You seem to like the guy, he seems to like you (yes, it's weird but that's how we show it!). Who cares what he wants, if you want it – Go for it!

2:27 PM  
Blogger Curiosa said...

What I was trying to convey was the fact that women tend to focus to much on what "he wants" instead of asking what do I want.

I agree with you. But I also have to say it takes two to tango. I know what I want...that would be some kind of a committed relationship...I don't want a relationship that is just sex. I want him to articulate how he feels (asking a lot, I know). (I love parentheses too). I've "gone for it" once before with this guy. I know myself well enough that if I have sex with him again, I will get emotionally involved with him again. For my own peace of mind, I need to know that there is a chance this is going somewhere else other than just the bedroom.

Oh yeah, and if he were to suddenly turn around and mention kids and marriage? I'd be out the door faster than he was when he was chased by a moose!

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Last comment, then I'll get out of your hair. Go back and read your last comment...but read it as if it were your best girlfriend that wrote it! I think I know what advise you would give her about this guy(I will burn in Guy-hell for turning on a "brother"!). I also think I will return to your blogg and see how things develop...

3:32 PM  

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