I actually liked Meat Man (recent self-delusions about the nature of his package aside) a lot. We dated off-and-on for about three months last spring. I actually still like him; I'm just not sure if I entirely trust him with that delicate thing known as my heart.
Part of the problem was Meat Man lives in the Swedish hinterlands. What the folks back home would call the middle of butt-fuck nowhere (MBFN). He moved there with the promise of an alluring career, and instead found nothing but moose and polar bears.
(Okay, I made the polar bear part up).
Most of his social life revolves around Stockholm. So every weekend, he commutes from the MBFN to the capital city.
I wanted more than an occasional weekend fling, and I suspect that he was only looking for a place to stay when he was in town. So, we dropped the charade and made the decision to be "just friends."
Now Meat Man is moving back to Stockholm this next weekend. He got a really good job offer, and was more than happy to get the hell out of the MBFN. Like clockwork, he called me in the middle of the night on Friday, drunk as a skunk.
I don't know what he expected. I shouldn't have even picked up the phone, but I did. I let him sleep here, but I wasn't about to go down that road again. Not until I'm sure I'm not going to get hurt again.
Apart from debating why or why not I wasn't going to take my pants off, we had a really good time. He made me laugh a lot back last spring, and he made me laugh a lot this weekend. (And not just at his "meat" references.)
Problem is, I'm not so sure I'm ready to let my guard down with this one again. I still haven't figured out the mysterious "WHAT DOES HE WANT?" Okay, so I know one thing he wanted (and didn't get) on Friday night, but I'm still not sure what else he wants.
So now its almost the weekend again. Do I sit back and see if he calls again? A philosophy I've heard, and hate, but definitely believe, is that the less that I (show that I) like him, the more he'll like me. Is he going to interpret my rejection of his "meat" as rejection of him?
Which it's not. I could see myself dating Meat Man again (he's really gonna have to work hard to get rid of that name). Thing is though, this time it's going to be on my terms.
It's all or nothing, baby.