Dear Self,

1) If the Swedish guy that you dated last summer calls after midnight on a Friday night, don't answer the phone.

2) If you do answer the phone, don't say that it's okay for him to come over.

3) If you do say it's okay for him to come over, don't bother cleaning the bathroom and doing the dishes because he'll be too drunk to notice anyhow.

4) If he is too drunk to notice anyhow, don't attempt to have an intellectual conversation with him about why or why not you are going to be more comfortable if you take YOUR pants off.

Sigh. Oh well. At least the bathroom is clean.

Love,

F. Curiosa