An "under-the-covers" investigation of the strong, silent, nordic type
I promise, I'm not really trying to copy Pale Green Woman. But I was inspired by her post on Finding Nemo. I couldn't resist sharing I Rub My Fishie. In the same spirit as Miranda's exploration of the Rabbit on Sex in the City, you can enjoy all of its rubbing pleasure for only 369 SEK.
posted by Curiosa at 1:31 PM
Kommissarie F. Curiosa is a female detective in her mid-twenties delving into the baffling yet somehow tantalizing mystery of the Swedish male in Sweden's chilly capital city. She's a modern-day Mata Hari, infiltrating the grisly underworld of dating in a foreign country.
During the course of her investigation, Curiosa discovered that blogs about dating are an excellent way to get dates. Of course, none of her dates were actually with the strong, silent, Nordic type. Her romantic attention was soon captivated to a fellow expat blogger, who took the interesting and unconventional approach of writing odes to Ullrick. Turns out, the way to a girl's heart is through her cat.
This resulted in a suspension of Curiosa's investigation of the strong, silent Nordic type, but not to fear, her new relationship provides plenty of 'blog fodder', much to the dismay of her significant other.
51 Comments:
they are really starting to go cute. how can you use one of those with a clean conscience?
Hehe, your Nemo is definitely more fun than mine ;-)
How cute.
I had an idea where one could mount 2-4 orbital sanders to the spring mattress part of the bed and thereby create a vibrating bed o' pleasure... Omnivibe™ we could call it.
It'll be huuuge, as Donald would say.
Ummmm, eff. All you have to do is go to a roadside hotel in the middle of the states and all you need to do is put a quarter in the machine and you have your vibrating bed. Voila.
Yes, good point. Although that's quite a travel needed for some good vibrations.
But the idea is that orbital sanders emit a much more high frequency vibration than a massage bed. Also, being able to market the Omnivibe™ with "over 1000W of vibrating power" should be nice.
yes, exactly. Couldn't pinpoint it but this is what's wrong with this bimbo blog. A trite, incredibly mundane though seemingly clever sex-in-the-city-wanna-be series of posts initiated by my fellow blogger "curiosa". This just came to your town courtesy of (where else) the good old US of A. It is not enough to be disgraced by your inept leaders. You have to do it for yourself in this cutesy "look at me Im so clever I ditch guys... TOOO COOOL cool for you" stint. God bless America.
And God bless 'comedies of manners' and Jane Austen and Bridget Jones all that sad, frivolous crap. And God bless you too for following her awful attempts at narcissitic 'pseudo-feminist' wit. As long as I live, I've pledged to fight such moronic indulgence...
Actually, fraytonto, if you want to read some real feminism, I would suggest Le Deuxième Sexe by Simone de Beauvoir.
As for your commentary on the ineptitude of the leaders of my country, I can only agree. However, it would also not surprise me if you have an axe to grind with anything coming from the good 'ol US of A.
If you don't have a sense of humor, where does that leave you?
P.S. Congrats on being the first negative comment I've gotten.
Well... your conciliatory attitude, and not-completely-wasted gumption earns you points, "mighty opponent". There's nothing sadder than shooting a sitting duck, or parodying people which have become their own parody, like (once again) your own 'great leader', G. 'the big Dubya' Bush. However, you picked a lame example in Beauvoir. SHE wanted Sartre more then HE wanted HER, and at the apparently came to yearn for that "burgoise-marriage" stability she ranted so much against. NO kidding, check your history... There's lots of more carpet-munching Frenchies that outdo Beauvoir, if you're interested, like the infamous Lucy Irigaray that argues that Isaac Newton's Principia Philosophica is "a rape manual". Hmmm... or perhaps you should stick indeed to 'discuss' soapy cable? Unfortunately, I am a philosopher, or rather I should say I "study" philosophy, because these days every moron thinks he/she is one. Wear the shoe only if it fits... C'mon, WHERE'S your sense of humour??
Sorry, I just realized I made a typo. Before you butcher me for it: it's 'at the end apparently bla bla...' AND BTW, I have several American acquaintances which I am fond of. IF I had "an axe to grind with anything coming" from there I will be as pathetic as the ones I dont like. Here's a few Americans which I unabashedly love, actually http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/
Peep if you can stomach it. Sadly, however, they don't do Sex-in-the whatever...
I'm more than happy to take on an able opponent, but keep in mind you're not the only one who has "studied philosophy." I'm more than happy to admit I didn't specialize in feminist philosophy, but I have read Wollstonecraft and Arendt, you know, in between my "soapy cable discussions."
Or would you care to discuss the gender implications of labor market policy in Sweden? Or in the Baltic countries? Cause that's where my real expertise lies.
One more thing, if you really want me to "check your history," please let's do just that. Where do you want to begin? Personally, I'm a big fan of the Early Modern era. Then again, I'm flexible.
Ok, I'm piqued. And guess what? Not only because of your brains, but because of that gratuitous boob-shot you posted back there. And you complain of being labeled a bimbo... Oh my sweet Jesus... Well, I guess Im up for flexibility too...
By the way, speaking of gratuitousness, some food for thought:
http://ruthlessreviews.com/rants/janetrant.html
The boob shot was just for you.
By the way, your term "carpet-munching Frenchies" indicates just how sensitive and warm-hearted you are towards other national and demographic groups, other than my own.
I'll check out the link.
Hmm... Please remind me where did I write I was kind-hearted, sensitive and bursting with "warm-fuzzy-feelings" for bullshitters? Thanx for another very insightful obvservation. Again, I criticize ridiculous ideas for what they are, and by extension the twats that utter them. As Voltaire, one of my philosophical favs, was a "Frenchie" (or fine, Frenchman) who would be equally happy to bash idiocy irrespective of its origin.
Ok, round No. 2 tomorrow (or rather later) Fuck, Im a vampire! So you'll probably have the last word. I have to sleep so I can do some productive procrastination at work later...
farytonto,
I checked out the link, and to be honest, I wasn't really impressed. I agree with the basic premise of the article, but it isn't anything that hasn't been said before. And Michael Moore has done a great job of sensationalizing it. But it's nothing brilliant. Personally, I prefer political commentary that looks critically at all angles. The question is not, "Why is America so stupid that it cares more about Janet's boob than the rest of the world?" This article, taken as a political statement at least, actually contributes to the problem rather than attempts to find a solution. It doesn't offer any way to find a dialogue in which we "can talk to each other." Such solution might, however, be found in investigating and devising ways in which to change the system from the inside out. That's what some of us are actually trying to do, believe it or not.
However, taken as a funny statement someone posted on the internet to blow off a little bit of steam, I like it.
Well, exactly, I'm glad you agree. And these guys would also agree with you. They are self-declared writers of 'rants', not political or social manifestos. And what I like about them is that, yes, they also bash the twat, liberal yokel that Moore has of late become. http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/books/dudewheresmycountry.html
NOw shit, I need to sleep!
To be perfectly honest, I must say that I don't really see the different between political rants and other types of rants, such as "soapy cable discussions." Both types are guilty of gross generalizations, are often based on false premises, but can still be fun to read...and write. As long as the authors themselves are aware of this fact...I would probably write political rants as well, if I didn't make a living from writing academic articles on EU labor market policy. To be perfectly honest, I really don't want to have yet another conversation of what I think about George W. Bush. But let's just say that most people who actually LIKE GWB probably don't have passports.
Oh, there I go another. I'm guilty once again of making another gross generalization. But I'm sure you'll make an exception in the case of Republic-bashing?
by the way, fraytonto, when you wrote about my "'look at me Im so clever I ditch guys... TOOO COOOL cool for you' stint," did you mean to say diss? because while i freely admit that there may be some dissing going on, there has not been, to my knowledge, much ditching. that usually requires getting to the first date, at least, so i can leave him standing in my tracks.
and i'll bet you're still up. you just couldn't resist.
actually, you came back at 02:49:25 and 02:49:35...how's the weather down there in Lund?
ok fine, you CIA-bigsister-hacking-castrating-panopticon... acquaintance. Actually, guess what? I cannot go to sleep yet because I too write "acadmic" papers and I need turn in this draft to my supervisor tomorrow in "Lund Universitat" (or whaterver is spelled in Swedish!!) And flicking occasionally to see how I easily ruffled your feathers, and how you droolingly fell for it... does a much better job of keeping me awake that the dirty coffee Im slurping!!!!... I guess theres no point in "anonymous.."
well, let's not start calling each other names, shall we?
by the way, since we're taking cheap shots now, it's spelled a-c-a-d-e-m-i-c, not "acadmic" and "universitet" if you care...
and you're not the only one pulling an all-nighter for the sake of the pursuit of knowledge...
yep, this is what writer's block does to you: forces you to engage in banal (and maybe anal) punch-ups with complete unknown cyber-hacks... Hey, has it occurred to that big brain of yours that we might just be embarrassing ourselves a bit too much here in front of onlookers? Hmm... or maybe you're just passed caring...
hmmm, now i'm playing "guess where the not-so-anonymous-commenter" is from. you're definitely not american, or french. for awhile i suspected you were swedish, but your last ommission confirmed that you were not. you use british spelling, which implies you might be european, and you have an excellent command of english. but your occasional misuse of prepositions gives away the fact that you are not a native speaker. perhaps educated in the UK?
i really don't care at this point. clearly, anything i do/say/write from this point on can only confirm, or disprove, my "bimboness," if such a word exists.
Well, resorting to 'criticizing' typos done in haste is not even a "cheap-shot", so don't dignify it... And FYI, English is not my first language. And I was not calling you names", I was only giving adjectives to describe your intrusive behaviour, which I'm sure you agree it wasn't called for. Ok, I agree. Let's carry out this with civility...
it's called statcounter, baby.
but yes, let's at least maintain the guise of civility.
Nooooooooooooooooo! (Picture here Principal Skinner or Darth Vader). Thank god the pommes did not get to spoil my education. Like Nietzsche, I am completely self-schooled, home-learned. BTW, if you're as worldly as you seem, I just gave away where I might (or might not) have studied. And preppositions and occasional mispellings, luckily, are nothing which Bill Gates and his cronies cannot help me with.
Baby? Hmm... getting sassy and raunchy... Care for a (cyber) smoke?
hmmm, south africa perhaps?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! (This time principal skinner)
Well, if you have nothing to do, could you edit my shit please? It has to be in top-notch-scholarly-journal form, which - quite frankly - still manages to escape my (very) limited parlance range. Would be willing to throw some REAL philosophical lessons in exchange...
BTW, were you perhaps fantasizing I was from Africa? Now we're sinking into daytime TV...
then nz or aus?
so suddenly i've gone from bimbo to potential editor? i see...
haha... ok, clever bimbo, then. And this is NOT an oxymoron, I think (Madonna is a quasi-clever bimbo, for instance). Not from 'down-undhaa', or a kiwi, but been around that block a while... not long enough though to like vegemite, which is as vile and unholy as salty-liquorish... Again, I respect your wit and skill, not so much your taste...
once again, i see. and i suppose that he who haleth from elsewhere than 'down-undhaa' has superbly refined tastes?
can we at least agree that fish eggs in a tube (kalles cavier) are also vile?
sprek jij nederlands?
hey... don't you dare assaulting kalles kaviar!
Ok, for those (including yours truly) too hung up on I'm from here, you from there, my food better than yours... my mamma too and bull-fucking-shit like that, I can only offer the words of that wise, wise visionary and savant Bill Hicks. I cannot resist a full quote here: "I was over in Australia and everyone's like ‘Are you proud to be an American?’ And I was like, ‘Um, I don’t know, I didn’t have a lot to do with it. You know, my parents fucked there, that’s about all. You know, I was in the spirit realm at that time, going ‘FUCK IN PARIS! FUCK IN PARIS!’ but they couldn’t hear me, because I didn’t have a mouth. I was a spirit without lungs or a mouth, or vocal cords. They fucked here. Okay, I’m proud.’
Holy bloggitudes, Batman!
Wow. Quite a debate. I'm way too tired to read any of it. I'm too busy scheming my return to world control via the Omnivibe™
Har Fraytonto tentanoja eller vad ..? Väldans vilken ambitiös debatt ni har haft här i natt.
erik, sorry! didn't mean to insult the swedish insitution of fish eggs in a tube!
Herrejesus och alla de andra, jag blir likadan inför tentor, allt annat är viktigare än att plugga. Snyggt skött debatt curiosa.:)
If he studies at Lund University he's not that smart (I should know). And it must hurt to be outwitted by a better looking person. Such humiliation :>
However, I'll buy him a coffee anytime (come to EC). (I think he needs to pause from "self-education" and actually meet real people).
Group hug, everyone?
Actually, Curiosa, I think it is "bimbositude".
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